Information for newbie on writing narratives

Okay this may sound silly to some of you but it is a concern that I have so here goes. I have done a couple of shops and love the shops but I am nervous about writting narratives. I write fairly well but get a little confused with what is wanted. They want you to write in detail so that they can picture the shop. Okay that part is fine but what I have trouble with is when they say not to make it to wordy and not to give opinion. What is considered opinion? And what is considered to wordy when they want detail? Is there someplace that I can go get examples. Thanks in advance for your input.

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Many of the MSC's provide samples of writing in the style they like it to be. Have you tried looking on their sites? Some only provide it at the time you have accepted a shop, though.

Opinion would be something like (and this is extreme), "The server looked messy and needed to wash her hair."

Objective would be, "The server arrived at our table to greet us with a smile and eye contact. She was in proper uniform, but she had a large green stain on the arm of her white blouse. Her apron was heavily spotted as well. The hem of her pants was not hemmed. Her hair was matted to her head."

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“Lying in bed would be an altogether perfect and supreme experience if only one had a colored pencil long enough to draw on the ceiling."
~Gilbert K. Chesterton


Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 06/26/2010 07:54AM by dee shops.
Opinions start with "I think" or "it seems to me" or "I believe", etc. Objective reports are 'just the facts, ma'am.' Samples from the MSP's guidelines can be great, if available. Otherwise, state only what you observed. As for how lengthy on the narrative, again it depends on the MSP. There may be a word count given, 100 words minimum, 1500 words maximum, or some such. Some sites count the words as you input. Regardless, using/saving in Word or OpenOffice protects your work from being lost, and has word count built-in. If no guidelines are stated, I'm a KISS writer. Keep It Simple Stupid. Excessive verbiage can weaken the points that need to be made.
Please stop spamming us with your links.

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“Lying in bed would be an altogether perfect and supreme experience if only one had a colored pencil long enough to draw on the ceiling."
~Gilbert K. Chesterton
Since you are asking about writing, I would like to mention to you that you have misspelled two words in your question. First you used "writting" instead of "writing" and twice you used the expression "to wordy." "To" as you used it is a preposition - I think you intended to use "too" which modifies the word "wordy." You probably know this but perhaps ought to reread your written material. Hope this helps!
The questionnaire and guidelines usually help guide your "story". (I always refer back to the guidelines before I write, as they often cite things to include that don't appear in the body of the form or instructions that appear there.) Be sure to reference any "no" answers. It doesn't even necessarily have to wordy -- if nothing out of the ordinary happened, or you don't know the reason it did not occur, just reiterating it in a full sentence is often sufficient.
Thanks for the help everyone! As for the oops, sometimes my fingers don't cooperate. So that goes to show everything needs to be proofed before being sent. Everyone here is great. I have really enjoyed this site.
Further to what I said above, a shop I did yesterday is a perfect example. The form looked pretty short and simple, but when I re-reviewed the guidelines, it was clear that a lot more was required. It broke it down, section by section, explaining the feedback they wanted. Even down to bathroom comments, which were not present on the form at all.
If you base your comments on the questions on the form, you will usually do well.

Wordiness isn't telling too much; it's taking too many words to tell it. Don't write like you speak. Take some time to use fewer words; be succinct.

Don't use contractions. Spell out numbers under 10. Use proper grammar and punctuation. When you quote, use the right punctuation, capitalization, and quotation marks.

smiling smiley Jamie
Editor and shopper
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