pcs Wrote:
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> Last night I received this email:
>
> "Dear Shopper,
>
> Our sincere apology on the late payment to you.
> Unfortunately we are currently facing a backlog
> with this process, causing a delay in the payment
> to our mystery shoppers. We have escalated your
> case so that payment to your account will be made
> soonest possible.
>
> Apologize for this situation, but would like to
> assure you that we are working diligently to
> improve this.
>
>
> Best Regards."
Let me translate that for you:
"Dear Sucker,
We were hoping you hadn't noticed that we hadn't paid you (the payment isn't "late," it's non-existent at this point). Unfortunately, we spent all the money from the client on a company party for all the schedulers who get people to do our work for us for free. We have thoroughly investigated and determined that we simply don't have any money, but maybe if we pretend to be forthcoming and communicative you won't sue us until we can close up and leave town.
We're sorry you called us down on this. We have scolded the office manager who ordered the caterers. We told her to do a potluck but she wanted chateaubriand and caviar for some reason.
Best regards,
I. M. Rippinguoff"
:
:
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I pray it does not occur that the last thing I did before I died was vacuum the house or eat broccoli.