Forced to Take a Poop in the Woods

Long story short.... I had to do an audit this morning. The catch was that I needed to arrive before the business opened. All of a sudden, my stomach started hurting badly. There were only two options: cancel the shop ($$) or take a poop in the woods. Well, I chose the latter. Anyone else experienced a similar emergency?

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What did you use to wipe afterwards?!

This may be TMI, but not during a shop, I used to have the runs because my diet was poor. It rarely happens now though. Similarly, I could not contain myself when I was outdoors in a park. I'll spare the details, as well. I won't elaborate further nor disclose what I used to wipe or the aftermath.

Well actually, shop wise, I was in the gas station bathroom recently. It was kind of trippy because everything was all white with the lights brightly turned on. This was one of the rare times I had to go number two, but I made sure to take the pictures beforehand.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/19/2024 11:40PM by Okie.
No, but if I did, it'd be a cold day in hell before I would come here to broadcast that news

Peace & Boundaries, BB
You have to do what you have to do. I would have gone to the woods as well. In my previous work, there were days when I worked in the field in the middle of nowhere (think something along the lines of surveillance work). Didn't have time to leave my post and go 20 miles down the highway to the c-store. So you found a nice spot off the highway with some tree cover and you did your business.

There is the truth.
Then there is the right thing to say.
back in the 90s i pooped in Lake Mead (near Las Vegas). It was not a shop, but it's a extremely large lake and several of us were water skiing. No where to go out in the middle of nowhere. Kinda nice having a lake as a bidet.
Haven't in years, but totally understandable. Back when I bought my house, I was meeting the locksmith at the property to pick up the new keys. Well, I got there first and really had to pee. No way to contact him, I can't get in the house as he has the keys, and I don't know any neighbors yet. So I peed in my own backyard. I figure I was marking my territory like a cat or a dog.
A buddy of mine cuts large swaths of grass for work. He will not hesitate to drive his tractor toward the tree line, grab the roll of TP he keeps in the cab and take a walk into the woods.

Me, I learned during covid, when all restrooms were closed, to keep Pee cups in the car. Those large Circle K cups with lids work nicely. The back seat folds up so the space is my ladies' room when needed.

I've got no boundaries, Barefoot!
On a separate note, if you haven't, I do encourage people to examine your poop/stool. It may sound disgusting, but in all seriousness, you can get better insight about digestive health.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/20/2024 02:42AM by Okie.
@audrialyn30 wrote:

Way too much information on this post. You could have kept this to yourself.

Do you realize you clicked into a thread with the word "poop" in the title? If that didn't clue you into this being a TMI thread, what would have? Methinks you kinda liked it. smiling smiley

There is the truth.
Then there is the right thing to say.
See the title of the thread intrigued me!!!

I have had many emergent issues over the years especially after my gallbladder was removed. Nobody tells you the consequences of that.

Sometimes in life you do what you need to do. My car has a bag with tp, wipes, change of clothes, all kinds of emergency stuff. I use it less these days due to a better diet but you should always be prepared.
yes, I have pooped in the woods..

We grew up with an outdoorsy kinda dad, we camped in a tent for most of the summer on our vacation. There have been times when I've driven through long stretches of nowhere with no available fast food places or gas stations and had to pull over also. Ya all already know I'm kinda weird and kinda prepper oriented, so it won't hurt to tell you that I have a roll of TP in my go bag that goes with me whenever I leave my house, and also one of those gas station leftover TP minirolls in my purse as well. Along with no fewer than 5 bandanas and a few regular sized cloth handkerchiefs in my car, not to mention the ones in my bag.
I'm popping back in here to bring up something that just come up here. The roof on my mom's house is being redone today. Mom has had a hard time dealing with this roof stuff. She forgets, she doesn't remember our recent conversations, or at most bits and pieces, and having people here working and the loud noises with the guys on the roof, let's just say it has been a difficult day. She has locked herself in the back room for a couple of hours this morning, spoken bad at me, etc. She doesn't understand I had to make the decision to get this work done or else we wouldn't only have a collapsed garage roof, we would have ended up with a collapsed house roof, especially if we get snow this year. So, I just have to be firm and have the work done in spite of her objections.

Anyhow, the crew started at 7am today. The work crew is made up of Mexicans. I went out a while ago to check on things, and one of them came up to me and said, "El BaƱo." I understand he needed to use our bathroom. As much as I did not want to say no, I have to because I cannot have any strangers coming into the house as it upsets mom too much. I don't even have friends over, because she just can't handle having people in her space because her mind goes back and forth between the present day and sometimes the 1940s or 50s. Of course I am going to prioritize her wellbeing above all. So, I tried to explain why I was telling him no. I speak Spanish well, but not as good I used to be. There are words I don't know, like the word "dementia." I explained in Spanish that mom is crazy (mi madre esta loca) and that if he came into the house, it would upset her. He was not understanding and he told me one minute. I waited and he came back and he proceeded to come into the house. So I had to stop him and try to explain again. I asked him if he needed to go to the bathroom for number one or number two. He said number one, so I went to the back part of the property where there are a lot of trees and told him he could use the bathroom in the woods. He said thank you, but went back to word. I then noticed he gave me a dirty stare when I went back out later on. I still have the sign of the person I voted for in my yard, so he probably thinks I am ready to deport him.

The morale of the story is when you work at someone's house, don't be afraid to go into the woods to do number 1 or number 2.

There is the truth.
Then there is the right thing to say.
Well, I go on all day hikes, so of course.
Some of my fellow hikers go on week long hikes in the back country.
Normal.
ServiceAward, your experience brings back memories of Curb Your Enthusiasm! Since this thread has been moved to General Chat, I'll try to explain.

Not sure if you ever watched the show, but there were some predicaments Larry got into. (Don't take this seriously. I'm just relaying what happened on the show. In all fun, it's just meant to laugh.) I think during one episode he wore a red MAGA hat on purpose to repel people from interacting with him in public. There's been references of number two on the show, where I'm sure during one of the many episodes, someone lied to him about doing number two at this house.

But for the crew, maybe offer them some water/beverages or fruit as a nice token.
@ServiceAward wrote:


The morale of the story is when you work at someone's house, don't be afraid to go into the woods to do number 1 or number 2.

Oh, yeah. When grass is growing, we cut grass all weekend every weekend in residential yards. My pee-cup comes with me. As with my own vehicle, the extended cab pickup provides a nice roomy space behind the drivers seat which makes for a cozy ladies room. The tinted windows on both are a perk but I would not be deterred by clear glass.
@sestrahelena wrote:

@ServiceAward wrote:


The morale of the story is when you work at someone's house, don't be afraid to go into the woods to do number 1 or number 2.

but I would not be deterred by clear glass.

*deletes comment* LOL grinning smiley

There is the truth.
Then there is the right thing to say.
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