You may have gleaned from my posts that I live with and care for my almost 83-year-old mother. A stubborn, bitter woman if there ever was one. Her natural temperament has worsened as she has aged, likely induced by undiagnosed Alzheimer's or dementia. Take your pick. She has always been a private person, little if any friends, especially over the past 25–30 years, etc. She is this way with her kids, too. When I moved back home a few years ago, she was just starting to get "off" mentally. It took me some time to figure out what was going on. Whatever mental disease she has, it is getting worse. Mom refuses to go to a doctor - for anything. A couple of years ago she had a tooth infection. It took ten days and her to finally get in severe enough pain to where she would let me take her to a dentist to get some antibiotics. Her behavior is ridiculous at times. She would be this way if she did have the dementia/Alzheimer's thing going on, so it isn't just that. It is definitely amplified by it though.
Mom developed what she told me was an "upset stomach" back on August 6, which was a week ago Tuesday. No big deal. She was careful she ate, and seemed to feel better the next day. She had a full meal. That was the last full meal she had, because the following day she said her stomach was upset again. The tropical storm came though here that day, and we were without power most of the day, then again several more times Thursday night and Friday. I tossed everything from the freezer and fridge to be safe, went to the store and restocked groceries. My hope was that she would feel better over the weekend. She was weak at times over the weekend, but she just aggravated at me whenever I tried to offer help or to stress it is time to go see a doctor.
She did finally start eating English muffins. She has had one per day, along with some saltine crackers, since Sunday. She is not lethargic. She seems to have some energy. We picked green beans out of the garden yesterday and she said she was going to cook them today. She is staying hydrated, drinking water, Ginger Ale, and Coke. Something like Ensure is out of the question. She will not try new things, and even things she used to like she won't touch anymore - that's been going on for a while. I really do not care if she eats nothing but ice cream and cookies as long as she is getting enough to eat and there isn't something else going on. I ask her how her stomach is, she says it is better, but that "you can't just go back to eating a big meal right away when you've been sick." I reminded her this has been going on a week. She has no fever, aches, pains, etc. I personally think she has food poisoning. She went through a similar instance of this in 2018, before I moved back home. She went ten days without eating anything or telling anybody she was sick until she told me. She did finally go to the doctor and they gave her something, and told her that drinking the Pepto was keeping whatever upset her stomach inside her body instead of allowing it to come on out. She was on Pepto for the first few days of this, but I did suggest she cut back on it. I do think she heeded my advice. My concern is there is something else going on, like maybe she isn't swallowing well (I've read some dementia patients can struggle with this) or she is having some type of bleeding issue she is embarrassed to discuss.
This morning when I tried to ascertain how she was, she completely flipped out on me. She cried, covered herself with her covers, told me not to talk to her, told me that she says why elderly people run off because their "damn kids" won't leave them alone, told me I've never cared about her, and on and on. She eventually told me she was going to call the police on me. Then, she said she would call my brother. She finally told me she wants me out of the house.
Last night at 3am, she asked me what time it was. I told her and I jokingly asked if she had somewhere to be. "I have a date," she said.
"A date?" I asked.
"Yeah, a date with a meal. I'm' hungry." Mom responded.
She did not want to eat then, but she said she was going to eat a big meal today. I reminded her what she told me last night and, of course, she has no recollection of it. She is normally a different "personality" at night, probably due to sundowners to some extent
Her comments to me today were very hurtful. I understand she does not know what she is saying. It still hurts. I drove to a parking lot and cried. I then went by a health clinic to try to see if a doctor or nurse practitioner could at least tell me when do I need to call 911. They could not dispense medical advice like that, which I understood. She has no primary doctor, and has not been to a doctor in probably ten years or so. The receptionist at the desk gave me some unofficial advice. She advised that I leave things alone. As long as she is staying hydrated and eating even a little something, she is likely fine. If she is clearly in pain or has a fever, or isn't getting out of bed or not walking at all, then that would be a time for greater concern.
If anybody who has dealt with a stubborn parent or grandparent, I would appreciate your advice on what you would do. I feel like if I do not do something, then I'm just waiting until she is really off and she has to be in the hospital. I feel like this is something that can be prevented.
Mom developed what she told me was an "upset stomach" back on August 6, which was a week ago Tuesday. No big deal. She was careful she ate, and seemed to feel better the next day. She had a full meal. That was the last full meal she had, because the following day she said her stomach was upset again. The tropical storm came though here that day, and we were without power most of the day, then again several more times Thursday night and Friday. I tossed everything from the freezer and fridge to be safe, went to the store and restocked groceries. My hope was that she would feel better over the weekend. She was weak at times over the weekend, but she just aggravated at me whenever I tried to offer help or to stress it is time to go see a doctor.
She did finally start eating English muffins. She has had one per day, along with some saltine crackers, since Sunday. She is not lethargic. She seems to have some energy. We picked green beans out of the garden yesterday and she said she was going to cook them today. She is staying hydrated, drinking water, Ginger Ale, and Coke. Something like Ensure is out of the question. She will not try new things, and even things she used to like she won't touch anymore - that's been going on for a while. I really do not care if she eats nothing but ice cream and cookies as long as she is getting enough to eat and there isn't something else going on. I ask her how her stomach is, she says it is better, but that "you can't just go back to eating a big meal right away when you've been sick." I reminded her this has been going on a week. She has no fever, aches, pains, etc. I personally think she has food poisoning. She went through a similar instance of this in 2018, before I moved back home. She went ten days without eating anything or telling anybody she was sick until she told me. She did finally go to the doctor and they gave her something, and told her that drinking the Pepto was keeping whatever upset her stomach inside her body instead of allowing it to come on out. She was on Pepto for the first few days of this, but I did suggest she cut back on it. I do think she heeded my advice. My concern is there is something else going on, like maybe she isn't swallowing well (I've read some dementia patients can struggle with this) or she is having some type of bleeding issue she is embarrassed to discuss.
This morning when I tried to ascertain how she was, she completely flipped out on me. She cried, covered herself with her covers, told me not to talk to her, told me that she says why elderly people run off because their "damn kids" won't leave them alone, told me I've never cared about her, and on and on. She eventually told me she was going to call the police on me. Then, she said she would call my brother. She finally told me she wants me out of the house.
Last night at 3am, she asked me what time it was. I told her and I jokingly asked if she had somewhere to be. "I have a date," she said.
"A date?" I asked.
"Yeah, a date with a meal. I'm' hungry." Mom responded.
She did not want to eat then, but she said she was going to eat a big meal today. I reminded her what she told me last night and, of course, she has no recollection of it. She is normally a different "personality" at night, probably due to sundowners to some extent
Her comments to me today were very hurtful. I understand she does not know what she is saying. It still hurts. I drove to a parking lot and cried. I then went by a health clinic to try to see if a doctor or nurse practitioner could at least tell me when do I need to call 911. They could not dispense medical advice like that, which I understood. She has no primary doctor, and has not been to a doctor in probably ten years or so. The receptionist at the desk gave me some unofficial advice. She advised that I leave things alone. As long as she is staying hydrated and eating even a little something, she is likely fine. If she is clearly in pain or has a fever, or isn't getting out of bed or not walking at all, then that would be a time for greater concern.
If anybody who has dealt with a stubborn parent or grandparent, I would appreciate your advice on what you would do. I feel like if I do not do something, then I'm just waiting until she is really off and she has to be in the hospital. I feel like this is something that can be prevented.
There is the truth.
Then there is the right thing to say.
Then there is the right thing to say.
Post removed for violating the forum guideline "No personal insults".