@iShop123 wrote:
You repeatedly fail to adhere to the boards' "no politics" rule.
I'm going to make this my final post in this thread for now and possibly for a while on the forum, as I want to take a break. But, I wanted to address this.
I hesitated to say this earlier, because I dislike singling people out in a personal way that humiliates or potentially brings unnecessary antagonism toward them. And, if there is ever a problem arising in interpersonal relations, I genuinely believe that "correction" should be done in love - even if stern at times.
My post was in response to Shopetal's comments, which were directly above mine. I did not intend anything political in that post, but perhaps can see how it may have been interpreted that way. I sort of vented some frustration, but had also been indirectly rebuking Shopetal's comments. I wish I had approached it differently.
I value Shopetal as a forum member and respect many things she has done (previously standing up for me in instances of unwarranted forum attack) and said (with lots of intellectually interesting and highly educated takes on a variety of subject matters - as a former Ph.D. student in one of those areas, I know this to be the case, given some obscure references to things of a perhaps culturally arcane nature). I've genuinely enjoyed chatting with Shopetal and am sure I will do so going forward.
However, I felt the need to respond to her comments directly above mine, because it felt like a pattern of dismissal and change of topic that I believe is disrespectful to the nature of the conversation/topic and its seriousness. I try very hard to not jump to conclusions and criticism of others, as I think we can all be too quick to misinterpret/misunderstand something at times (I've been guilty of this certainly), and only made those "frustration," rebuking comments when I felt I had seen something happen too many times to not be intentional and wrong in attitude. COVID is a serious topic and certain aspects of it deserve to be treated as such. It would be disrespectful and harmful, in the midst of discussion on aspects of human safety and general societal well-being, to make "dismissive" comments about the virus and immediately change the subject matter to unrelated things. I felt this was done repeatedly over several months in a similar fashion/pattern. I reacted with comments that I felt Shopetal would "understand" and know were addressing this issue, but that perhaps someone from the "outside" may not have known.
If you've been away from the forum chat on COVID for many months (March, April, May, June, July, and so on) and are reacting based on a month or two of posts, I don't believe you have the full context of things to know why I said what I did. I should have been more direct with Shopetal in how I worded things - I actually greatly dislike making anyone feel bad (it's something I hate, actually) - and that would be my fault for taking an indirect rebuking approach. In hindsight, it feels passive aggressive in a negative way. *I'm genuinely sorry, Shopetal, if you're reading this and may later send you a PM.* But for clarity now, I don't believe you understood what you were criticizing and seeing with my comments above.
Regardless, I don't wish anything ill of anyone (whether with you, Shopetal, or anyone else) and do not want to have any unnecessary extended tensions beyond this. I'll simply say, with lots of tough love behind this (as I like and value Shopetal), that Shopetal's manner of approaching these discussions has been wrong and I hope taking time to consider others' genuine pain, fears, and more serious personal approaches to the matter can illuminate why a dismissive attitude is hurtful, harmful, and wrong. I am sorry if I caused any unnecessary confusion with what I said.
Are there also deeper political criticisms I have to how things have been approached, by our nation and its leadership, with regard to the pandemic, stimulus, and the like? Yes (and I've been angry about them). But, as you said (and I think I agree with), we should strive to keep that out of the forum's discussion if such pure political commentary is unwanted. I'm sorry for having been guilty of that in the past. I am going to more rigorously hold myself accountable going forward to not comment on political things.
Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 10/15/2020 11:57PM by shoptastic.