What are you doing today? (besides shopping)
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Questions are good. Answers are elusive and more theoretical than solid. I know a few things, but they might not fit here. Way in the background is hubby himself. He and his family members hate many people for real or perceived wrongs, such as having money, status, high functioning, ability, and possibly a few other attributes. I have not figured out who is "allowed" to have attributes and who must be punished ! for it. There seems to be a multi-layered formula that is changeable as per barometer, mood, food, or something ineffable and unrecognizable. He has promised/threatened to leave for several decades. I always tell him to save his money for the divorce costs as well as the costs of starting a new life. He has not saved one cent, as far as I know. Our money is mostly separated. Enforcing 100% distinction is a pita and it is just easier to relax and attempt to collect basic expenses from hubby. When he does not pay in full or timely, I have to make up the difference. Even before the little girlfriend, I have had to make up the difference in many months of many years. I have pushed so hard for so many years to make up the differences that I have to stop doing that now. Most recently, his reason for withholding is this person-- this little girlfriend-- with whom he has been communicating electronically for more than one year. I know little about this person. I believe this is a female and that she may or may not look like the picture that was e-mailed or texted to hubby. I know that she contacts him at any time of night or day to ask for money, whine if money has not been sent immediately, and to provide ever more reasons for needing still more money. As far as I know, they have an electronic relationship with sexual, financial, and other overtones that qualify as aspects of an ongoing relationship. The financial aspects are disturbing. She has some persuasive skills! For several of his accounts, she persuaded him to give her access, even though financial institutions recommended against this behavior. Her efforts involved questioned funds and resulted in frozen and closed accounts.
More of this scam story is in another thread. It is a common scam theme. Delectable* Damsel in distress is denied rich daddy's money. Daddy's will** expressly demands that she be married in order to have access to the alleged millions of dollars and control of vast and alleged property holdings. In order for him to marry her and help her to meet the requirements of the alleged will, he must be free of me. And boy, what a bonanza that would be! He would get a rich heiress and [presumably] unlimited access to untold millions of alleged dollars and use of untold acres of alleged property. He has a vested interest in this get rich quick scheme and no ability to extricate himself from our marriage with a simple divorce. He is not well designed for marriage, and he is less adept at saving small amounts of money, let alone specific amounts for a divorce and a new life. As mentioned earlier, he has been wanting out of the marriage for many years. Before this scam, he just made threats and hoped they would make me conform to whatever nonsense was expedient in that week or month. Usually, the nonsense of now/then had to do with supporting him in as lavish a life as he could extract from my few bucks and threatening to make me shut up about it. He hates being thwarted by simple concepts such as no, not now, later, after we pay for something else, and please tell me again why I am supposed to use my meager funds to support your rich little girlfriend instead of investing a little more money each month. This his made him so angry that he has lashed out in a nasty soap opera fashion. He has gone as far as yelling at the top of his lungs for any and all to hear that I have abused him or accused him. What really happened, as we can learn from punctuating those incidents, is that he has a flair for timing. Anyone tuning in at that moment would assume the worst of me-- and probably would not stop to wonder what preceded his tirades. Fortunately, this trick appears in at least one legal beagle book and is well explained there. There is a precedent for it, by gosh!
Now, he is at full throttle and hurtling toward his goal of nabbing a babe, and money, and land, and cash, and stuff, and freedom, and victory., and the destruction of me! Whee!
*I was shown a picture. He seemed to love how she looks. Delectable would be more of his point of view than mine. I was skeptical and wondered if it came from a wallet or was photo shopped so that he would never see what his actual scammer or scammers look like.
** The will, or portion thereof that was shown to me, was not written in a legal language or format that was familiar to me. All the legal documents I had seen up to that time were generated within the United States and had a certain similar look and feel, or format. The alleged will was typewritten and not hand written and included language that did not seem like that of other legal documents.
Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 06/17/2021 02:43AM by Shop-et-al.
More of this scam story is in another thread. It is a common scam theme. Delectable* Damsel in distress is denied rich daddy's money. Daddy's will** expressly demands that she be married in order to have access to the alleged millions of dollars and control of vast and alleged property holdings. In order for him to marry her and help her to meet the requirements of the alleged will, he must be free of me. And boy, what a bonanza that would be! He would get a rich heiress and [presumably] unlimited access to untold millions of alleged dollars and use of untold acres of alleged property. He has a vested interest in this get rich quick scheme and no ability to extricate himself from our marriage with a simple divorce. He is not well designed for marriage, and he is less adept at saving small amounts of money, let alone specific amounts for a divorce and a new life. As mentioned earlier, he has been wanting out of the marriage for many years. Before this scam, he just made threats and hoped they would make me conform to whatever nonsense was expedient in that week or month. Usually, the nonsense of now/then had to do with supporting him in as lavish a life as he could extract from my few bucks and threatening to make me shut up about it. He hates being thwarted by simple concepts such as no, not now, later, after we pay for something else, and please tell me again why I am supposed to use my meager funds to support your rich little girlfriend instead of investing a little more money each month. This his made him so angry that he has lashed out in a nasty soap opera fashion. He has gone as far as yelling at the top of his lungs for any and all to hear that I have abused him or accused him. What really happened, as we can learn from punctuating those incidents, is that he has a flair for timing. Anyone tuning in at that moment would assume the worst of me-- and probably would not stop to wonder what preceded his tirades. Fortunately, this trick appears in at least one legal beagle book and is well explained there. There is a precedent for it, by gosh!
Now, he is at full throttle and hurtling toward his goal of nabbing a babe, and money, and land, and cash, and stuff, and freedom, and victory., and the destruction of me! Whee!
*I was shown a picture. He seemed to love how she looks. Delectable would be more of his point of view than mine. I was skeptical and wondered if it came from a wallet or was photo shopped so that he would never see what his actual scammer or scammers look like.
** The will, or portion thereof that was shown to me, was not written in a legal language or format that was familiar to me. All the legal documents I had seen up to that time were generated within the United States and had a certain similar look and feel, or format. The alleged will was typewritten and not hand written and included language that did not seem like that of other legal documents.
Bach is not noise, Madam. (Robert, in Two's Company)
Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 06/17/2021 02:43AM by Shop-et-al.
What did you do today?...
Oh, I replaced a leaking 4WD front differential seal ($17) and CV joint axle ($56). Took about 3 hrs not including getting tools out, putting tools away, and cleanup. 273K miles and still rolling along. [A repair shop estimate was about $600.] Knowledge = winning.
Oh, I replaced a leaking 4WD front differential seal ($17) and CV joint axle ($56). Took about 3 hrs not including getting tools out, putting tools away, and cleanup. 273K miles and still rolling along. [A repair shop estimate was about $600.] Knowledge = winning.
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